Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
