so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
