The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
