Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
