No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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