Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
