why do cheetos always look like penises
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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