I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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