i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
