How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
