Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize