Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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