I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
