Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize