So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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