I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
