New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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