yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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