I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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