The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
