just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
