At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize