you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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