When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Someone shattered a urinal.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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