I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
