I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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