is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
