I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
