Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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