You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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