Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
