Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
bring money and cleavage
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
