We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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