Fine. I'll sleep in my office
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
