it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize