Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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