Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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