so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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