it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
