I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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