He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
