Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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