He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Mom said you looked used
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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