genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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