I want to have your abortion
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
