mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She told me I should be a condom model.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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