she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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