I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
