I wanna passion pit in your ass
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize