i just had sex bonerless
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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