The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
