Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
