So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
