you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
