I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
