Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
...so i touched it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
