You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
