he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
