I wannas sexs uuuuu
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize