he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
