im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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